A Book I Should Have

I just saw this book recently and thought it was one I could use often.

It is described as a book that "tells you what to do when any kind of food or drink is.....
overcooked, undercooked, stale, burned, lumpy, salty, bland, too spicy, mushy, too dry, too wet, flat, tough, too thick, too thin, wilted, collapsed, curdled or stuck together." In other words, things that go wrong in my kitchen on a regular basis.

I am the first to admit that I am not a natural born cook.

I really only began cooking (and by "cooking" I mean that I make most of the meal from scratch which doesn't include Bisquick, instant anything or those convenient boxed pasta mixes) after I had Nikolas. Before that it was a lot of eating out, stir-fry and yes, the boxed pasta mixes with chicken tenderloins. Somehow my sister learned enough cooking from our mom before she left home at 18 and was able to cook whole meals from scratch. She once told me that she didn't even realize buying chicken frozen and in parts was an option till she was older. She always started with a whole chicken. I, however, had no idea how to cook a chicken whole and thought everyone, except my mom, bought frozen chicken breast. The funny part about that is that we raised our own chickens and every so often my dad would introduce a chicken or three to his newly sharpened axe. Then, after chasing the headless chickens around the yard for a while, I would sit at the picnic table with my mom and sister plucking feathers. I suppose I then went off to play in the woods or splash in the creek while Kellie and mom went in to finish the chicken cleaning and cooking, because I have no memories of what went on with those chickens once we defeathered them.

My lack of kitchen appearances didn't stop with just chickens either. I never learned to make cookies or bread or sauces or how to brown ground beef. I might have boiled noodles....maybe... ....once. Apparently I spent most of my time outside while growing up and left being quite proficient at swinging a machette at those pesky blackberry bushes. Machette swinging doesn't carry over into daily life very well, though. If only reality shows like Survivor had been around back then!

Now that I've been a stay-at-home mom for nearly five years I think I have graduated into the realm of cooking to say that I actually can cook. I now know how to make a rue, how to fake buttermilk using regular milk and apple cider vinegar, how to make my own cream of mushroom soup, and yes, I even know how to make cookies! I do, however, still have cooking and baking mishaps. It is then that I rely on three friends for advice: Kate, Sheri and my sister Kellie. In fact, just tonight I called my sister for tips on how to make a coconut cream pie for my brothers 40th birthday. (How can he be 40?! Even though he is 5 1/2 years older than me, him turning 40 means it is that much closer for me! Yikes!) I've never eaten a coconut cream pie let alone made one, so I looked up some recipes and then called Kellie for any other words of wisdom. I went to work on making the pie and everything was going well until I dumped all the coconut into the mixture and then immediately realized that I hadn't toasted the coconut yet. Nuts. Start over or spoon as much of the coconut out and then toast it? Hmmmm.... this is where the book would have come in handy.

Well, I ended up spooning it out and toasting, 2 different batches as I burned the first one, and then added it back in. It's cooling now, so we'll see how it all turns out. I'm sure glad there are going to be other desserts at John's party!