Fun.
It's such a relative term.
When i was a child Fun was building forts, playing in the creek, climbing trees and slip 'n' sliding. It was carefree summer days in which school was far off in the distant future.
As a teenager, Fun was being a part of my cross country and track teams, hanging out with my youth group, riding big roller coasters, working around the farm and trying to be better than the boys at every sport i could.
Entering into my young adults years i found Fun on a much grander scale. Fun was living in my truck at Smith Rocks and rock climbing everyday with strangers, traveling to foreign countries, taking road trips around the US to rock climb and trying every new extreme sport I could.
Now i am a mama and fun has taken on a different meaning.
The other day after camping, Tone' asked me if I had had fun. I paused and said, "I don't know if I would say I had "fun", I had a good time, but camping really isn't fun anymore when i have to take care of two tiny beings the whole time."
There was a pattern to my fun no matter what stage i was in before children. It always consisted of the outdoors, adrenaline and hanging with friends. Now, as a mama, there is a new pattern. Not bad or less fun, just a different pattern. It's "fun" for me to see Nik riding his trike around the campground a hundred times because I love that it gives him such joy. It was "fun" to go on a boat ride with our friends and all our children and watch the daddies jump off the rocks even though i didn't get to and would have loved to if i hadn't been holding a baby. It was all "fun", just not my original definition of fun. It is like my fun has transfered to my children. It is no longer about me. Wow. I don't know that i ever would have been okay with that a few years ago. Like, 3 years ago to be exact. I'm okay with it now, though. I know that my children won't always be small and in need of my constant supervision. One day, i will be able to have my definition of fun again, and the best part is that....my children might join me. And that would not only be fun, but would bring me great joy as well.
3 comments:
You are living my 20s now - sorry. You will return to actual fun in the next 10 years or so - and then you'll be wistful of the type of fun you are having now! I am!
Sister,
yes, we have completely switched places now. So basically, we have to wait 10 years or more before we BOTH can have fun together. We'll keep trying now, though. If only we could get out of the house when i come to visit.
I believe in ten years I will be having fun with the plethora of grandchildren Z keeps saying his wife will bear!
Yes, we do seem to have a problem actually LEAVING the house when you visit! Maybe this cross country/ track season will be better? Not saying I expect or assume you will be here, but definitely would welcome it!
Post a Comment